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Monday, December 22, 2003
Dispatches from Bizarro World
Don't miss this item about everybody's favoriite flaming Nazi gasbag (apologies to the Hindenberg). It's just full of...well...bizarro stuff.

First of all, Rush's attorney says he was being blackmailed by his housekeeper and her husband. Now, I've never personally been blackmailed, but as I understand it, it involves having done something illegal (or at least extremely embarassing) that the blackmailer knows about. File that one away for a moment as Exhibit A, and let's continue.

Black [Rush's lawyer] alleged that the Clines had threatened to go public with information about Limbaugh's drug use unless they received $4 million.
Ah. OK, so there was something wrong with his drug use. Let's detour for just a moment and point out that, like methamphetamine, opium, and PCP, oxycodone is a Schedule II controlled substance. It's not like someone was selling amoxicillin without a prescription. It's illegal to possess this stuff without a prescription. Recalling Exhibit A, it sure looks like Rush was illegally in posession of a controlled narcotic.

Black said Limbaugh wanted to contact the FBI, but was told by an unidentified friend that if he went to the authorities, they would target him, and his political enemies would use the information against him.

"That's exactly what happened," said Black, who also alleged that Cline's husband was a convicted drug trafficker.

Now this is the first place where it gets downright surreal. They threatened to target him if he went to the authorities. He didn't. They "use[d] the information against him" anyway. Does that make sense? And what's the bit about "political enemies"? It just screams "paranoia" to me.

Also Monday, a spokeswoman for the radio network that carries Limbaugh's show said discussions have taken place between Black and prosecutors about a possible plea bargain to resolve Limbaugh's legal troubles.
Hm. Now, it seems to me that rich defendants with high-powered lawyers aren't typically prone to plea bargain if they're innocent. Let's file that one away for a moment as Exhibit B.

Bellows [a spokeswoman for Premier Radio Networks] said Limbaugh, who recently completed treatment for addiction to prescription painkillers, "certainly had more pills than he could ever use." However, she said Limbaugh never intended to sell the drugs.
Now we're getting to the quality entertainment. As though the point was whether he was trying to muscle in on his dealer's action.

"He wants this thing to go away," she said. "He won't admit to anything he didn't do." ... Limbaugh has insisted he has done nothing illegal.
I'm quite sure he wants it to "go away". It's going to be interesting, though, to see how he reconciles those two statements with a plea bargain; plea bargains don't usually involve admitting that you did nothing.

I wonder if this sort of denial was covered in his rehab?

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