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Thursday, December 11, 2003
Olympic security update
As a precaution, United States track and field athletes at the 2004 Athens Olympics might be discouraged from wearing red, white and blue or anything with "USA" when they are not competing.

You see, it's because the world loves us so much because of the leadership of our miserable failure, and the security people are concerned that our athletes may be mobbed by people throwing flowers. Or bombs. It's so hard to tell the difference sometimes.

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